Bearing in mind that luck is a cruel mistress across both sides of the Narrow Sea, these five couples that we’re going to talk about don’t help themselves - they’ve done some truly idiotic things in the name of pithy things like emotions and feelings.
To make this a bit easier, we’ve also highlighted who’s the one that’s really done the dumb deeds.
1. Cersei & Jaime*
Background
Okay, we know this one by heart already, but for the uninitiated, here’s a quick recap. Cersei and Jaime are twins from House Lannister, and have been involved in an incestuous relationship since forever.
Roll Call of Stupidity
While Cersei has done some truly stupid things in the name of love (either for Jaime or for her children, Jaime takes the cake.
Firstly, there’s shoving Bran out the window, jeopardising the realm in the process. Then there’s his boneheaded loyalty to her even as she took on other lovers while he was away protecting her and their House.
How about his refusal to hold Cersei to task for basically causing Tommen’s suicide? Or his double standards in stabbing the Mad King for using wildfire, but giving Cersei a free pass after killing thousands?
Thankfully for us, Jaime has seen the error of his ways and has finally left her to fight for the living, alongside his brother. Let’s hope it stays that way.
2. Robb* & Talisa
Background
Robb Stark, having lost the support of the Karstarks when he executed Rickard, was forced into asking the Freys for an alliance. The decision was driven by the need to cross the Trident as part of the Northern Army’s southern advance to save Ned.
Walder Frey’s terms? For Robb to marry one of his daughters to seal the alliance. Robb said yes.
Roll Call of Stupidity
Look, we know it’s hard to resist the charms of the incredibly gorgeous Oona Chaplin. But Robb, goddamnit, you’re a KING! Kings don’t get the luxury of following their feelings over practical realities (probably the wisest thing Catelyn Stark has ever said).
Breaking his marriage pact with the Freys miffed old Walder enough to ally with the Lannisters and co-opt the Boltons into betrayal. We all know that happened next.
3. Ygritte* & Jon
Background
Jon ostensibly breaks his vow to the Night’s Watch in an attempt to not just save his own neck, but to join the free folk under Mance Rayder. Ygritte takes him under her care as he then attempts to prove his loyalty to the free folk… And fail, constantly.
Roll Call of Stupidity
Jon Snow, future King of the North and knower of nothing. Jon can’t really hide his allegiance to his brothers. He tries to stop the free folk from attacking the wall. He messes up their attack plans, and distracts Ygritte from basically carrying out her job.Yet, she falls in love with him, and him, her.
What happens subsequently is a comedy of erratic incompetence - Ygritte goes from failing to kill Jon as he rode away (very badly) on a horse, to hesitating while attacking Castle Black, resulting in her own death.
Sholud’ve stayed in that cave, eh?
4. Tyrion* & Shae*
Background
Having taken on Shae as his mistress, Tyrion brings her to King’s Landing (against his father’s advice) when he becomes acting Hand of The King. He then assigns her to become Sansa’s handmaiden - keeping her close but also opening her up to threats from Cersei’s machinations.
And then he and Sansa get married, setting off an explosive chain of events…
Roll Call of Stupidity
It’s hard to figure out who was dumber in this pairing - both have a pretty amazing claim to being the relationship idiot. First of all, Tyrion allowing himself to fall in love with a prostitute isn’t exactly a wise decision. Second, was his decision to bring her to King’s Landing, leaving him open to threats.
This is where Shae’s dumbassery takes over. Knowing full well what Tyrion has risked to keep her near (and safe), she refuses to listen to him when he promises to be faithful after his marriage to Sansa. What more do you want, Shae?!
Everything after that is a compounding of their errors of judgement. His attempt to send her away to Pentos gets her intercepted. Shae then goes on to lie at his trial (jealous revenge?), have an affair with Tywin, and attack Tyrion. Tyrion then kills her, and then his father.
We think this one’s a draw.
5. Lysa* & Littlefinger
Background
Lysa Arryn is directly responsible for the start of Game of Thrones, poisoning her husband at the behest of Littlefinger - thus necessitating Robert’s trip up north to appoint Ned Stark as Hand of the King. We know the rest by now.
Roll Call of Stupidity
Littlefinger has never been someone you could trust. Everyone in Westeros, Essos, the Summer Isles and even north of the Wall, knows this. Lysa, of course, sees things differently. She loves him, and that means he wouldn’t do anything to her.
In exchange for her one-sided love for a man that it seems scarcely believable anyone would find… believable, she has :
- Killed her own husband
- Written a letter to Catelyn Stark blaming the Lannisters for his death (sparking the War of the Five Kings)
- Threatened to kill Sansa after Littlefinger was the one that kissed her
It was almost a relief when Lord Baelish finally sent her flying through the Moon Door. We’ll let her own words show her dopey idiocy.
“What wife would do the things I've done for you? What wife would trust you the way I've trusted you? When you gave me those drops and told me to pour them into Jon's wine. My husband's wine. And you told me to write a letter to Cat telling her it was the Lannisters...”
The highly-anticipated final season of 'Game Of Thrones' will be invading your TV screen starting 15 April and you get to watch it the same time as the United States on HBO (Astro Ch 411, 431).
If you're not a fan of the series but you're afraid of being left out when your friends discuss how awesome that week's episode is, you can actually catch past seasons of the series on Astro On Demand and Astro Go. Here's the best part: all episodes on demand will be uncensored!
For more information, check out this link.