15 Thoughts Everybody Has at a Chinese Wedding Dinner

A friend has just handed you an envelope with your name on it. You open it to find a fancy red card staring back at you. It’s an invitation to a Chinese wedding dinner. Cue the secret thoughts that would soon pop into your head on the big day…

#1 “‘…starts at 7pm sharp.’ Hahaha! Yeah, right.”

#2 “How much angpau money should I give? I don’t want to seem like a cheapskate.”

#3 “I better have something light to eat first else I’ll be starving until 8.30pm.”

#4 “Please don’t seat me with strangers. Please don’t seat me with strangers.”

#5 “Ergh, I see someone I dislike. I hope she doesn’t see me.”

#6 “Ooo, the menu. Let’s see what I’m having tonight.”

#7 “They better not serve shark fin soup.”

#8 “It’s 7pm now. Yup, still no hint of starting.”

#9 “Finally, the food is here! Can someone quickly start eating so I can too?”

#10 “Hmmm, should I take the last piece of prawn on the plate?”

#11 “Oh, no. Not another karaoke rendition of ‘The Moon Represents My Heart’.”

#12 “Gawd, why is the toilet queue so long?”

#13 “Wah, that auntie is so blinged up. Disco ball meh?”

#14 “Yum… I’ll just pretend I’m shouting too. No one would notice… seng!”

#15 “Too full. Need. To. Unbutton. Pants. ASAP.”