Dating 101: What You Should (And Shouldn't) Do On The First Date

Let’s face it; Malaysians are really open to dating and are even more open to talking about it.

It is a very good thing because it challenges the norms of Asian societies where dating is kept hush-hush, or the topic does not come up at all.

People are not as shy as before too. Europeans have the stereotype to be very romantic lovers and the dates that they go on is just amazing but we can always do the same and even more.

Before we become good at dating, there's something we must first nail: the first date. Having said that, there are a few things that Malaysians can - and cannot - do when they go out for the first time.

These are especially helpful on a first date and can be used even on your 101st date.

#1 – Arrive on Time

For the first time, excuses like ‘I’m on the way’ or ‘I’m running on Malaysian time’ are totally unacceptable and to be honest, really not funny. It just shows how lightly that person takes things. A first date is a little bit serious and is supposed to be a whole lot of fun, so do not spoil the mood. Otherwise, it would be really potong stim for the party that is affected.

First impressions count, so make the most of it and we would all be fine. If you are late just for the heck of it and think your date is just going to accept it, think again. Just imagine that for every minute that passes by your date might think that there is a possibility that you stood them up. Now reverse the roles; it does not feel good now, does it?

Do: Be punctual!! Punctuality is the key to every single good date. We end up not wasting time and we would probably get to know more about the person

Don’t: Get ready at the last minute, do things haphazardly and then turn up late for the date

*Bonus cheat*: If you really cannot do anything about being late and you have tried everything in your power to arrive on time, do not get stressed out. Check your estimated time of arrival, then add five minutes to it, and then tell your date. When they realise that you are five minutes early, it would give them the impression that you have done everything to get there on time. Oh, and don’t forget to apologise.

#2 – Dress appropriately

Let’s be real, we live in Malaysia. ‘Nuff said.

Okay, in all realness, we should not take our clothing to the extremes. Do not wear formal clothing, unless the date is somewhere expensive and atas. Malaysia is too hot to pull off those classy first date outfits you see in movies, so we guarantee that you will start sweating and the whole situation would just be very uncomfortable.

On the other end, do not dress so scantily or shabbily because there is no point in going on a date if you do not put in the effort. Dress for the occasion. Dates could be at a mamak or a kopitiam for all you know (yes, it happens), so dress comfortably. Most likely your date would appreciate the effort put in and if they have not made the same kind of effort, it would give them the motivation to do so the next time you meet up.

Do: Dress for the occasion and be smart with your choices. There is a chance that you might make a lasting impression on your date

Don’t: Put on whatever and do not try to be perfect because that could be very stressful

#3 – Have a “Type”

This one is a bit controversial because there is a line between having a type or a preference, and being just flat out racist. Malaysia is a diverse country, so embrace that. Having a preference is not wrong as many of us actually do have a preference on who we like and what we like in a person.

Just don’t have too high of an expectation for the person you’re dating and definitely do not, we repeat, do not date a person just because of their skin colour.

Do: Be open to anything and everything and open yourself to the possibility that you can fall in love with someone who does not exactly meet your criteria of a perfect date

Don’t: Be judgmental and convince yourself that you only have one “type”. Also, do not have a mental list that you check off every time your date says something or does something superficial

#4 – Phones

This should be common sense. Phones should not, we repeat, SHOULD NOT be seen out during dates. Many of us can agree that it is just downright annoying when you are trying to have a proper conversation and the other party just pulls out their phone and starts focusing more on that than on you.

Unfortunately, this is happening quite frequently and it just spoils the whole mood of the date if one or both are constantly on their phones. It is acceptable if there is an emergency or if there is a call or text that must be answered immediately; just excuse yourself and tend to it. However, if you pull your phone out every five minutes, it shows a total lack of interest and is quite disrespectful. Other than that, your date should not know what type of phone you are using, unless that somehow becomes a topic of conversation lah.

Do: Put the phone away and keep it on vibrate mode just in case there is an emergency or something related to that. Enjoy the date and forget about the phone

Don’t: Constantly check the phone. The phone will still be there when the date is over, so just put it away.

#5 – Offer to Pay

Girls! We are strong, independent women who can pay for our own stuff. Traditionally, it is the guys who pay but we are in the 21st century. Do not expect the guys to pay for everything just because it is the first date, or any date for that matter. The guy will definitely be impressed and most of the time you will get their attention and it is likely that they would get more attracted then they already are.

Do: Offer to pay and do not take “no” as an answer unless it is a special occasion like a birthday or an anniversary. Guys should not be paying for things all the time

Don’t: Expect the guy to pay and then get shocked when he asks to split the bill

*Bonus cheat*: Roles can be reversed here, girls. We can treat as much as they can. Even better if you treat the guys to dessert or drinks or both. There is a definite guarantee that there will be a second date (tried and tested ?).