An Audience With The Kings: Angie And Joey Mead's 'Forbidden' Love

This "incompatibility" we suspect, was partially responsible for the 171, 252 cases of Muslim couples filing for divorce from 2014 to 10 July 2016, according to BHarian.com.my.

The Malay Mail similarly reported a scathing indictment on the institution of marriage stating that one divorce happens every 10 minutes in Malaysia.

In this atmosphere of dissent we find ourselves face to face with a couple who has found a way to overcome a perceived "incompatibility" and has become the subject of an hour-long documentary by TLC Southeast Asia.

Meet the Kings.

Well, meet the pair before the transformation. Ian King, a prominent tycoon in the Philippines, and Joey Mead, a supermodel and co-judge of Asia's Next Top Model, married in 2011. Much has been said about Ian's outing on Instagram, and eventual public reveal of his hidden identity as Angie King at @hailtothe_queen in July 2016. Over in the Philippines, the news of Ian King coming out as a transwoman exploded.

Questions arose that run the gamut from the had-to-asks like, "Did Joey know?" to the downright inappropriate like, "How do you, you know, do it"? To answer, yes Joey knew, and encouraged him, and yes, they still do it though we don't know the details.

The biggest question was; are they still together?

Yes, they're still together. Wife and wife bound in matrimony. A fact that was bound to raise eyebrows and a few doubtful scoffs. We know because this writer was one of them who reacted exactly this way. Upon learning they will still together, one year after the public reveal, we were doubly shocked when we heard that a documentary series had been made about them by TLC Asia.

We were fortunate enough to meet the lovebirds in an interview, the video is already live on our Facebook page and our YouTube page (like and subscribe!). In researching, we found a lot of information online about what the couple has gone through during this transition.

We found out that Ian, now Angie, had been dressing up since she was a kid. She had been borrowing women's clothes since she was seven or eight. We found out that Angie had told Joey a few months into their relationship that she liked wearing women's underwear. We found out that Joey had to deal with abandonment issues when Ian wanted to live in the United States.

Digging deeper, we find out that Angie is getting treatment from an endocrinologist. First testosterone blockers, then estrogen supplements. The article at Philstar.com goes into the next phase of her transformation which would take another two to three years (from 2016 when the article was published).

We met the pair at a private event at TLC Southeast Asia's headquarters in Singapore. Joey in jeans, a form hugging tank, and a red jacket; Angie in a skirt and long-sleeved blouse. The sneak preview of the documentary aired and we were given the chance to ask a question. We ill-advisedly asked "Who dressed who today?" Joey bit back with "What do you think?" This was met with laughter from the crowd, the only response to an otherwise rethorical question.

She cheekily revealed that she was Angie's stylist, photographer, manager, and make-up artist, and was in charge of all of her outfits during public appearances.

Over in Malaysia, we've had some experience with high-profile transformations

Jeffrey Chung or as we now know her, Jessie Chung, had a sex-change operation in 2003. In 2005, she courted controversy when she tried to get married under Malaysian law. It was heavily publicised in Malaysia; his proposal was written in blood, he asked for her hand six times, the wedding cost RM1 million, three pastors presided over the wedding.

Jessie comes from a prominent family in Kuching and her husband, Joshua, is an accountant from Ipoh. The couple opened their wedding ceremony to members of the press and asked for people to "give them a chance".

Their marital status is still not recognised today, but the couple just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary in another lavish ceremony at her company, Natural Health Farm. For her, the acceptance of her family and her in-laws is all she needs.

In a separate article, she responded to criticism of her lifestyle choice saying, "...I am not sorry for being honest with myself. I cannot live a life which is a lie. I did not ask to be born this way."

And activists who are fighting to be heard

Nisha Ayub was born male to a Muslim family in Malaysia. By the age of 21, she had undergone a full transition into a woman. In 2000, she was arrested and jailed on the grounds of “un-Islamic” behaviour by the Syariah court.

She was sent to a male prison. "So that she can come back as a real Muslim man," she recalls the judge saying in a report by South China Morning Post. She was reportedly sexually assaulted in prison and made to bare her breast at other inmates.

She allegedly attempted suicide in prison.

Luckily, her attempts failed and she has since transformed herself into an activist who crusades for equal rights, not just among the LGBT community, but for all. She founded the Seed Foundation and Justice for Sisters, foundations that help the marginalised communities in Malaysia.

She was honoured in 2016 with the US Secretary of State’s 2016 International Women of Courage Award. She is the first openly transgender woman in the world to receive that award.

Speaking to Esquire Malaysia, she said "I was really nervous about how the other recipients would see me. But they didn’t see me as just a transgender person. They saw me as a woman."

"The award didn’t just recognise me, but the transgender community all around the world as well."

After three harrowing months in prison she was released. In a story by the Malay Mail Online, she asked her mom to bring her a wig, because her head had been shaved bald.

"And she did, she got me a wig. That’s when I felt she acknowledged that this is who I am, from there itself-lah."

Also, a 695,000 strong sign of acceptance of others on Instagram

Nur Sajat is an entreprenuer, celebrity, model, and recently, a Dato'. She confessed to being born a hermaphrodite last year with her parents choosing to raise her as a boy.

We did some digging and in an episode of Eksklusif that aired on 1 March 2012 on TV1, Sajat revealed that she started taking hormone pills in Form 2 at the age of 14.

"That was the beginning of my journey, to turn myself into a woman," she says in the interview. She mentions that her family started noticing the changes to her body.

"If anyone has a child who is like this (referring to her sexual tranformation), they need moral support from their parents and family," says Sajat's mother in the video. "Let their appearance change, as long their heart remains the same."

In a tell-all interview with InTrend, she says (and we translate), "To me, the acceptance of my parents, family members, and close family is the most imporant. Because they are the backbone to all I've accomplished today."

An audience with the Kings

In the interview room, Angie is shifting in her seat. She's trying to find an angle to sit in for the camera. Joey asks her to stand up and switch places. Angie shifts again in her seat, finding a natural spot for our camera. They settle back in to their original places on the couch and take a collective breath before our questions.

They're both weary from the extensive amount of questions that have been thrown their way in the light of their documentary. Questions that have been asked a million times over and answered the same, sharpened and carefully edited with each consequent retelling.

Angie remains open to our questions, perhaps soaking in the freedom of just being herself, on camera and to the world, for the first time. Joey, however is on the alert; crouched and ready to pounce at an inappropriate question.

We suspect she feels a need to protect her wife, now still a metaphorical cub, set loose in the binary world of the Internet. Before, Angie was Ian and Joey's little secret, now Joey has to share Angie with the world.

There have been numerous stories about the difficulties they've faced together and the journey that Angie had to go through to come to this point; the point of complete openness. The pair answered our questions back and forth in rhythm with finesse, like a well-trained athlete. Returning answers to questions that they've received many times over the years without sounding trite. We finally hit the main event, the reason we wanted to speak to them: their journey of acceptance.

Angie puts it like this:

"Accepting yourself – you're the only one who can answer that. I was the only one who could tell myself, 'I'm a woman inside and I need to live my truth.' And the day that a person comes to realise that is when you can accept other people."

With that, our time with the Kings was up. We make some small talk about them going for some Korean fried chicken later, and laugh about their shopping experience in Singapore. We take a picture with Joey and Angie and we get out of their way.

They have to answer all these questions again at Facebook's headquarters in Singapore. Another day for crowds of curious people to stare and to wonder; "I guess she's a lesbian now? And I wonder if they still do it".

We know we wouldn't want people prying into our private lives like this, and we salute their perseverance. Perseverance to live their truth. Wife and wife, still bound in matrimony.

Acceptance in Malaysia

In all Southeast Asian countries, same-sex marriage is illegal. In tandem, sex-changes are also not recognised under the law, in all 11 countries. There are no anti-discrimination laws in Malaysia and as Nisha's life will tell you, protection against discrimination is almost non existant.

Again from the South China Morning Post, in 2014, Nisha played a key role in challenging the courts against anti cross-dressing laws in Negeri Sembilan which led to a landmark 2014 ruling that called the law "degrading, oppressive, and inhuman".

The victory was short-lived as in 2015, the Malaysian High Court overruled the lower courts decision, setting a blow to rights movements in Malaysia.

"It's not going to be easy," Nisha told the SCMP in 2016 of the fight for acceptance. "It's going to take a long time."

Her site, Justice for Sisters, is now campaigning justice for Sameera Krishnan, a transgender woman who was brutally assaulted and murdered in February 2017. In a blog post on March 3, 2017, the site urged the police to conduct a "thorough investigation and (to) hold the perpetrators accountable".

The site also details similar violent murders of transgender women that they've considered "hate crimes" from 2007 – 2013.

The case was considered not a hate crime by the police as there was no "indication" of a hate crime.

The blog post also lambasted several media outlets who used derogatory language when referring to transgender people. Terms like "pondan" and "transvestite" points at the ignorance of some and reveals the state of acceptance of transgender people even in the media.

As the saying goes, "The wise person has long ears and a short tongue". "Be quick to listen and slow to speak". This was recently illustrated by our very own Health Ministry who backtracked on the language used in the guidelines for their video competition, The National Creative Video Competition on Adolescent Sexual and Reproductive Health.

There were three topics covered in the competition, "sexual reproductive health", "cybersex", and "gender dysphoria" or gender confusion (kecelaruan gender). Participants in the contest were invited to address "prevention, control, and how to get help" for people who identified with what they considered as gender confusion. Activists sprang to action calling the Health Ministry out on what was clearly discrimination.

Remarkably, the ministry reached out to civil society organisations to request a dialogue.

Nisha Ayub, the Malaysia AIDS Council, and PT Foundation attended that meeting.

After the meeting, the words and terms used for the competition were changed. It is now known as gender dan seksualiti, or gender and sexuality. The competition guidelines now read:

“Gender refers to personal conviction and how one sees roles as a woman or a man as a result of social and cultural constructs or upbringing. Sexuality is important in a human's life in terms of physical, cognitive, emotional, social and spiritual aspects.”

It's important to note that the competition is only open to youths aged 13 to 24. The minds of the next generation will be working on this competition and this was a dynamic shift in favour of gender equality and acceptance in Malaysia.