#GempakSpot: Quarter Life Crisis. Ada ke?

11 years ago, I thought to myself, “I’m going to graduate with flying colours, settle with a career as a fashion writer, travel the world with the person I love and give my parents everything they want.” I was smart, ambitious and so excited to take on the world. The universe then thought it was funny to pull the rug out from under me.

After nearly 5 years of working, I found myself jumping jobs, heading nowhere with my boyfriend of 8 years, still living with my parents and no bank savings. Nearly entering my 30s and I still couldn’t get my shit together. A couple of months before I turned 28, I went into depression.

Living in a society where speaking of depression is a taboo subject, I kept it to myself. I figured it will go away. When I did try to bring it up, everyone said I was just overthinking and that I should just relax and it’ll go away.

For 5 months, I didn’t feel like myself. I gained over 5 kilos, getting out of bed seemed impossible, felt alone and detached from my family and friends, nothing I did gave any satisfaction or meaning and worse, apart from anxiety, I couldn’t feel anything.

Live every other 20-year-old out there, I was under immense pressure to start getting my life together, get a good job that pays well, get married, buy a house yada yada yada. It’s expectations like these that I feel is what starts a quarter life crisis. Depression, frustration, being told what to do and how to feel – trapped in a rut. Breaking out of this cycle isn’t easy. It took me a while to recover but it’s doable.

Don’t bottle up your emotions. Even if you think that no one would care, just talk about it and let it flow. You’re not the first person to be going through this nor will you be the last. In fact, you may be helping someone to speak out too.

Surround yourself with people that not only brings out the best in you, but are also willing to stick around and light the way to help you find your way back. You are only as good as the people you’re with. You really can’t do it alone.

It’s a saying as old as time, but it’s true. Count moments that made you smile and laugh, count the people you could text and instantly reply, days you’re never left hungry, sick or unwanted. These small moments you think cliché is what matters most at the end of the day.

Don’t let anyone project their fears on you. Their thoughts, expectations and feelings shouldn’t be a barrier for you to get what you want or be whatever or however you want to be. What you want and want to be matters, regardless of what society may think.

Now, now, now is not always the solution. You don’t have to get it all figured out right away. An advice that is so underrated is, ‘Take your time.’ You’ll feel like the situation you’re in and feelings you’re feeling will never go away. It will, surely.

By Anbreen Aziz