A man from the United Kingdom recently arrived at the emergency department in Gloucestershire Royal Hospital with an artillery shell stuck up his bum.

According to a report in The Sun UK, the man didn’t purposely inflict the act upon himself.

Instead, the man told doctors at the hospital that he actually “slipped and fell” on the 17cm by 6cm armour-piercing projectile taken from his private arsenal of military collectables.

We detect many holes in this story

A source was quoted in the report as saying that the patient found the shell while clearing out his stuff.

“He said he put it on the floor then he slipped and fell on it — and it went up his a**e.

“He was in a considerable amount of pain. I think he collected military memorabilia.”

Due to the condition, the doctors had to call a bomb squad to help remove the artillery shell.

Police was quoted as saying that the explosive had been safely removed prior to their arrival at the hospital after the Army’s Explosive Ordnance were contacted.

The patient had since been discharged.

Phew, that was a close call!